Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
