Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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