we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
