is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and she was petting her beer can
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
