I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
