Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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