ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
