ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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