I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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