I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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