Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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