If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
