I showed him my bush... on skype.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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