i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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