I like my sex mixed with concussions.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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