Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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