apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
