We're facebook friends in real life
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize