i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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