hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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