quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
