she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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