How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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