Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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