Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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