Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
