Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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