i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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