I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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