He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
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