gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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