I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
