We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
