There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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