Cold hands, warm shart.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
