I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
