2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
