Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I had to cum in my sink.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
