so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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