Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
