only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
