well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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