sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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