i need an iv and a liver transplant
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
