My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
