I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
