Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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