I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
