He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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