Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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