Jerry, you need to find god
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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