dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
