I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
