I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize