I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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