you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
