that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize