I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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