We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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