I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize