ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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