It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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