Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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