So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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