i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
