why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
