I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
