i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
