I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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