no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
