YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
