Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
